Tacky Ass!

Dear idiot with the extra small skinny jeans in the gas station,

Hey jackhole, get your priorities straight. You're talking shit about going to a party in the Valley and can't wait to get "Turnt Up" but you choose to buy three $5 lotto scratchers and two $10 lotto scratchers but only put in $5 in your gas tank on your raggedy ass Monte Carlo, from what I remember that gets about 15mpg. Judging from the shape of that bucket, it's less. Hope your AAA card isn't expired, since you clearly don't know how far the valley is from paramount. Tacky ass mutha fucka.

Regards,

Scott

UFO's and Black Folks.

How come UFOs never talk to Black people? I have yet to see the NAACP or the ALCU mention anything about these muh fuckas. #FactOfTheDay

Friday Funny: Ghetto Hoes

When your weave gets caught in supermarket shopping basket, you're just ghetto as fuck. Repunzel was not black! #GhettoHoes

 

Velcro It!

Since Velcro has so many great uses, how come Lane or Vicki hasn't come up with it for bras? It's recyclable, tree hugger friendly and very strong. If they can hold bulletproof vests together in place just fine, why not for the Cool, Delightful, Fabulous and Gorgeous sizes? Hooks are for fish, not boobs.

Yeah I have the balls to say it.

Keep it FAKE????

Ok I know I'm wrong but think about this. What would happen if you took the two big toes off of somebody with prosthetic feet? #DontJudgeMe #ItsAJokeBitch #LiveABit

ASS Kicking

Walking in to work, I heard someone on the phone this morning with one foot on crutches talking on his bluetooth to somebody that he was going to kick somebody's ass. How are you going to do that with one foot? #SMH

Friday Funny: Ghetto Issues

You know you're ghetto when.....you got pork in a damn stroller with no kid

 

Rock Climbing

Co-worker: Would you go rock climbing?

Me: How about you Google that and find a minimum of 10 Black people in the world that rock climb.

Co-worker: So...you would?

Me: Put a chain linked fence around that bitch and maybe we can talk.

#WeDontDoThatShit

Friday Funny: Male Spanx

The Best Caption For This Male Version Of Spanx Gets 100 Points.

A Time And A Place To Share Spaces

To the asshole who farted on this elevator right before they go off, I hope someone super glues your ass shut in your sleep and you can't shit for the next 3 days. Dirty sumuma bitch.

Pissing Aint Easy

To the guy who stood next to me to take a piss,

After that loud bellowing sound that came our your ass, you should go to the stall and check your pants. I'm almost positive you just shitted yourself. That's also no excuse to miss the damn urinal with the bee target in the middle. It's there for a reason. Ya limp dick son of a bitch.

#NotRocketScience #Idiots